Happy in Hell

I just got done doing some Kundalini yoga. I know…I know…perhaps a little bit odd. And yet, I found this online instructor named Kia Miller (her classes can be found on an awesome yoga website called yogaglo), anyhow, these classes have really been an amazing thing for me. For one, they help with my digestion which has been a problem for me for years (and years and years) and for two, for the first time in my life I have been able to feel my “energy” or what the yogi’s call my “life force.” Sounds a little bit like Star Wars I guess, but it has been really neat for me.

Today I sat down to practice and I could feel myself (my energy) going off in a zillion directions. Everything about me was in chaos. I’ve been feeling that way lately too…emotionally, so I found it especially interesting that physically, “energetically” I was also feeling it. Anyhow, after each portion of my practice I could feel my energy getting more calm, more aligned, more on the same page, instead of being random lines going in a million direction, there were just a few lines…mostly going the same way. Maybe it’s weird. But it is amazing to me. Amazing that there is so much more to our physical bodies than meets the eye. It’s comforting to know that I am more…

As I was lying down after my practice I had the following thought. The idea that yoga helps me feel better. Happier. And then I had a silly thought, that if God is going to be sending me to hell (ha ha…I don’t really believe that anymore, although growing up in the LDS church I sure thought that I was going there for most of my life, and now that I am what many may term an apostate, it is taught that I will be going there as well)…but my funny thought was that if He is going to be sending me to hell, then I might as well start learning to be happy there. Earlier today I was listening to a podcast on SoundsTrue where one of the women being interviewed said “When I die, nobody can send me anywhere I won’t be happy”. What a thought! What a glorious thought! To be able to always choose our happiness. If we are happy now, why wouldn’t we be happy then? If we are daily striving to please a God who can never be pleased by us…why would we be happy living with him? And so I choose to believe in a God who is always pleased with my daily effort to do my best (after all isn’t that what we are all doing every day?) and if there is no such God, I am now determined to practice daily to find joy…so that I can be happy in Hell :)

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